emotional restlessness

Today, we focus on what to do when we feel restless. This episode will look at what it means to be emotional and physically restless or unsettled and some reasons we become restless. We will Aspire and Reach for More in our lives by becoming restful instead of restless.
Last episode, we talked about emotional burnout, which adds to this conversation of being restless.

What does look like when someone is restless physically and emotionally

• When someone is restless, physically you can see it all over them; they look anxious, they are not paying attention.
• A restless person is edgy, moving from this thing to that, from one activity to another, one idea to the next, they never seem to settle down
• People who are fidgety or tense make the people around them feel insecure and nervous
• A restless mind is constantly racing, thinking, busy and can lead to not sleeping well
• Being restless will affect your mental and your physical health. Your mind needs to be able to slow down to process information and make decisions.
• Your physical body when restless, is in a state of stress, this is difficult to maintain. Your body is releasing adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Feeling like you are in a constant emergency state.

Emotional Restlessness
When you are emotionally restless, it feels like being stuck where you are and wanting to be somewhere else. Emotionally restless people are often unhappy, unsettled, and can't explain why. Here are some of the thoughts that occur when you are emotional unsettled.

• It's the feeling that "I am not where I want to be in life"
• "I thought I would be doing something else by now"
• "I feel like life has passed me by, and everyone else is doing better"
• "I want fill in the blank ___(the house, car, relationship) now!"
• "Why is nothing working"
• "When I am here, I want to be some where else, when I get there, I want to be back at the old place. "
• "I switched jobs I am not happy"
• "I moved I am still not happy"
• "I left a relationship and now I am lonely and not happy"

How can I change it?

• Emotional restlessness comes from being unsatisfied or unfilled. The thing, person, job, or place you thought would change everything did not live up to the expectation. You are not happier and better off because the solution, a better job, car, or house did not solve the real problem.

 

• This can cause some to become more frustrated because they were legitimately trying to fix a problem. Trying to feel better. You did not fail in trying to feel better, you made the effort, and you were aware that something needs to change, something was off center for you. Now the work is identifying what the real problem you are trying to solve.

 

• For example, you might not need a new job, it may be a different position. If you are the type of person that thrives and gets excited about working with people and you are stuck working with machines all day. You are not in a place that fits your need to work with people and get the benefits and joy that comes from it.

 

• If you are restless because you feel "I should have that house by now, I am behind all the peers or family members, they all have houses." The solution is not the house. The stress and restlessness are from comparison. The question you might ask is, why do I not feel I measure up?

 

• What will the house do for me? It's it about feeling accepted, worth, equal, or successful? If the house is really about having a home, what if you had to wait another 5, 10 years for the best house? Would you settle for any house just to feel like you made it, or would you wait for the best house for you?

 
To address the restlessness, you have to look at what is causing you to be so uncomfortable. Your expectations of yourself may be unrealistic and unfair.

• Your timelines may be too short, now or never, by next year or next month. These timelines bring on more pressure and stress.
• Your motivation may be about pleasing other people, not what you want.
• You may be in competition with someone who does not know and does not care.
• Your vision might be limited, you think the place you are now is going nowhere or has no benefit, and in reality, it is the right opportunity, with the right people to get you exactly what you want if you can be patient enough to let happen.

Consider this, stop running, jumping from one thing to the next, and hiding. Start discovering what the real reason for the restlessness is. Then you can move from restless to restful, experiencing a calm mind, relaxed body, and perfect fit in your life.

​Thank you for joining me. May you continue to grow in hope, faith, and love.