Today we are focusing on what to do when we are lied to by someone we care about. We will Aspire and Reach for More in our emotions by not accepting lies. Lets look at what it feels like to be lied to and how do most people respond. When you know someone is lying to you, the first question is why. We will cover what some reasons might be and how you can respond to this.
The emotions experienced can be the following:
· Feeling betrayed
· Unsure about the closeness of the relationship
· Angry because trust was violated
· Disrespected by the person choosing to lie
What is your typical response?
· Do you speak up and ask questions, clarify?
· Do you accuse of lying and never believe them again?
· Do you accept it and hope there are no more lies?
· Understanding what are the motivations.
Why would someone lie to you?
· Lying to get what they want from you
· Caring more about their needs than your needs
· Trying to manipulate your decision or the outcome of situation
· The truth is subjective to them and they choose to not see it as a lie
What can you do? Create an atmosphere for open communication and remain respectful even when you disagree. Allow your friends and loved ones to tell you the truth without reacting negatively. Ask questions if you feel like someone is lying to you. Trust your instinct and verify with facts. Be clear about your boundaries and what you will not accept in relationships.
Today we are focusing on how to Aspire and Reach for More in your emotions by stopping the habit of lying. In this episode, we talk about how lying can negatively impact emotions and a sense of self-worth—beginning with looking at some of the reasons we choose to lie and then highlighting how lying affects our ability to feel free to be ourselves.
Why we choose to lie:
1. Afraid of consequences, avoid punishment, not wanting the outcome, we tell a lie. Not wanting to deal with negative results, we will find a way out of it.
2. Concerned telling the truth may cause others not to help you, determined to get the outcome you want, manipulating others by lying
3. Avoid discomfort or displeasure. don't want to deal with something
4. Trying to limit or stop embarrassment by lying; when you need a quick out of a negative situation
5. Private and not trusting others- protect yourself, restrict access
6. Protecting your privacy or making space for yourself by keeping others unfamiliar and at a distance
The problem with lying is the effect on your emotions
1. Lying causes you to see a crack in your character
2. Maintaining a lie is exhausting
3. Not having a sense of freedom
4. Managing the lies makes you unavailable in the present moment and to those around you
5. You become uncomfortable because who you believe you are and your actions don't match
6. It can overwhelm your emotions
What can you do? Instead of avoiding uncomfortable situations, walk into them with confidence. The confidence comes from knowing who you are, standing in the truth, and being firm about your boundaries. As we look as mastering our emotions, avoid lying and putting cracks into the foundation of your character. You want to be comfortable with who you are inside and out. Lying gets in the way of your relationships. When you are not telling lies, people will be more comfortable around you. Choosing to live in the truth and tell the truth also you to be in proper alignment. The truth allows you to be free to engage and not worry about being found out as a liar or someone who lacks integrity. Choose to not live under a false belief about yourself and to be free to express the truth.
by Gessy Martinez
When the chaos, shock and noise quiets down after tragedy the comes the sorrow. Grief shows up after the dust settles and the awareness that someone you have loved has died. Grief becomes the constant unwanted presence you feel when you wake up, throughout the day and in the night. After the funeral is complete and friends have shared their condolences you are left asking “now what”.
By Ashley Nixon
So for the first time since I was able to get my working papers I do not have a solid paycheck Full time 40 hour job. And the struggle is real.
When I was younger I felt like jobs were everywhere in the sky. Obtaining one that would that would satisfy my hunger and a few bills were nothing. Now I am coming into an age point where finding a suitable position to actually pay my mortgage like bills is a struggle. The process is like applying for college so many applications sent out and very sparse replies or acknowledgement back.
what is grief?
It is a normal reaction to the death of someone you have lost. A spouse, parent, child, friend, or pet. Grief is a natural emotional response to the sudden or anticipated change in your life. Webster’s dictionary definition of grief is; deep and poignant distress caused by bereavement, a cause of suffering.
Rediscovering peace after loss is achievable. You deserve to live a life without dreading everyday. Live looking forward to building healthy relationships, feeling connected, understood and emotionally stronger.
We are glad you decided to stop by! We hope you pick up something from what you read and will add your thoughts to the conversation. This blog is designed to help you find encouragement and think differently, within a community of strong individuals who encourage others.
The Aspire and Reach for More blog exists as a resource to identify the thoughts, behaviors and patterns that get us stuck in daily life. We provide insight into how thoughts and perception lead to behavior, and give you advice that is easily applicable into your daily life and situations.
As we develop a community, we are here to help you understand why you do what you do and how to begin to change those behaviors and thinking that cause you to struggle. In these posts, you will find resources to battle ideas, thoughts and behaviors that lead to hardship, disappointment and difficulty in different areas of life.
To your continued success,
Gessy Martinez, President and founder of Aspire and Reach for More